Improvement

29 May 2007

A long while back, I posted this on my first blog, which I subsequently turned into a blog about my son and his condition. Allow me to paste it in....

I'm so Glad no one says retarded anymore....

Because I'm afraid that's what my son would get called.

No, now they say 'developmentally delayed'. I suppose that doesn't feel like a kick in the gut. But I thought of this yesterday--how when I was a kid, the word used was retarded.
I went to pick up Jairus from preschool and the cutest little girl kept saying 'bye' to him. Of course, Jairus didn't say anything back, didn't even really register any acknowledgement that anyone was speaking to him. Finally I asked the teacher what the little girls name was. I think it was Abby or something.

I said, "Jairus, Abby is saying bye to you".

He looked at Abby and went over and gave her a hug. Slightly embarrassed, I said,

"Oh, look, he's saying good-bye too".

The teacher said something about how nice that was. I don't think Abby concurred.
Then he spotted another little girl behind Abby and started towards her too. Now, you have to imagine this. My little boy tends to drool a little, has Harry Potter glasses that are always smudged, and wipes his nose all over his clothes. Not such a pretty picture. I think this other little girl concurred. Oh, the look on her face.

The teacher quickly said, 'Oh, Jairus, I don't think everyone wants a hug'. I pulled him away.

As we left, another little girl was leaving. Many kids were yelling out goodbyes as her and her mom walked out the door.

She waved.

I can't remember if this was a year ago or two years ago. It was when we were living in Brantford, for sure. So now Jairus--and Honour, go to a couple mornings of preschool at a co-op place near us. They really seem to enjoy it. When I pulled up today, the kids were outside, playing in the enclosed outdoors play area. I gathered them up with their paraphernalia and fastened them all into their seats.

I started to back out and ease my way across the parking lot to leave. A little boy in the same class and his grandma were just heading to their car. They passed along the right hand side of my van as I was inching along, wary of all the tiny ones around.

The little boy looked in the van and saw Jairus in his seat. He waved enthusiastically and yelled "Bye Jairus!".

I quickly turned to bring the little friend to Jairus' attention and instruct him to wave bye and perhaps try to say bye, too.

"Jairus, loo---", was barely out of my mouth before I realized that he was way ahead of me. He had already spotted his friend, and was waving back.

"Gye!" he hollered.

(Happy sigh)

Leslie is....on Facebook

08 May 2007

So, I've been on Facebook.

It's.....fun. However, I don't feel quite the same about it as a fellow blogger who wrote tongue in cheek, "She meets my needs", as an excuse for not blogging so much anymore. It is....fun. But....welll....

It's quite addictive. Everyone who's on says that. It's getting kind of tiresome to read, actually. Someone on just about everyone's wall says something about being addicted. For those not ON, it's not like you can just log in, check your messages, answer a few and log out. You could/can spend hours (as I have) scrolling through list after list of faces, looking for those you recognize. Hours and hours looking at hundreds of pictures of people you don't know, checking through groups to see if you fit in anywhere, updating your own profile info and pictures, so that everyone you've connected with can see how great you're doing.

It is fun. In almost 3 weeks, I've got a list of 'friends' around the 60 or 70 mark. Friends....hmmm.
People I haven't seen for 10 plus years. People I'm related to, people I go to church with, people I used to go to church with, people I work with, people, people, people. Here's a snapshot of a few things I've learned about this myriad of people:

  • Pete Rainford is a really good photographer. Like, he should be in magazines.
  • Pieter VanHiel is a really good writer. Witty, humorous, dry. Just the way I like it.
  • Some people my age are divorced. Very sad.
  • Some people haven't changed a bit. Very funny.
  • Some people only have the same name; everything else is different.

And I've often mused how difficult it is to keep up with the people currently in my life.

But still, it's provided me a interesting glance into a few people's lives whom I was genuinely interested to discover what they've done with their lives. But then there's a few who haven't responded to a message sent, or a comment left on their wall. And so I ponder....'Are they too busy to respond? Do they not remember me? Perhaps they do remember me and don't like what they remember...'. A little paranoia, I suppose. I know I was annoying in elementary school, but I thought I had smoothed that out fairly well by highschool.

And the whole 'friend' thing....at first it was reminiscent of grade two...a note passed in class...'Will you be my friend? (check boxes, yes and no)
Would anyone actually say no? With every friend request has come a fleeting spark of 'feel-goodness'. Someone likes me. Someone wants to see how I'm doing. Someone remembers me and wants to reconnect.
But recently, that's been quickly followed with....'or maybe they just feel obligated because I poked them....'.

And then there's the paranoia that I might be offending someone by not issuing a friend request. I know they see my face on the screens of those we have in common, they might be people I went to school with, but didn't know terribly well. I, let's say, have decided that I don't want to take the chance that they don't remember me, or don't really care either way, so I just...ignore them. But what if I'm wrong? What if they're just waiting for a poke from me?--a little, 'hey, how's it going' message?

And then (how many paragraphs have I started with that...!) there's the information debate. How much do I include on this billboard of my life? How many people do I allow into my otherwise carefully guarded existence? I struggled with whether to leave the pictures of Hayden's gravestone, and his little handprints. Why should I put them there? So people can feel sorry for me? Well, no. Unfortunately, some might think that. But I put them there because I was posting pics of my family and he is my son. Even though he only lived a short time, people should know that he existed. That is his right.

I tried to blog on there. They have function for that. But it just wasn't the same. I felt compelled to return to my first love....;-) There's just something different about blogging my heart out with the vague knowledge that someone I know might read it. I click on publish and out my thoughts go, into the vast web world....
But on Facebook, the webby world seems much smaller. I know that once I click post, my thoughts are being directly deposited into the screens of 70 odd people, if I've got my privacy settings figured out right.
I tried importing this blog, so that I could just write once and have it in both places. But it imported ALLLL my posts, from the beginning. Who wants to read all that on my profile?!?

Through facebook, I've violated a cardinal rule for myself: never let the students see you sweat. In otherwords, even though I send my bloggy thoughts out for the world to see, I've been assuming that my choir kids likely would not find them. Why would they look?
I soon realized on Facebook, that I had opened myself up to the gathering of HCC and Allmen youths in my virtual backyard. So far, this is....ok, I think. I'm hoping I won't regret clicking confirm for those requests. I just couldn't say no and make them understand....I just want to maintain an air of professionalism and respect. That's why they call me Mrs. Kent, when only a few years ago, they were calling me Leslie.

So that's another reason why I return here to my Leslife-morelife. I have to guard what I write on Facebook because.....I don't know. I just do.

Besides, my home here is much prettier....

Our God is an Awesome God

05 May 2007

I found out some GREAT news today.

My friend Karen received the results from her operation to remove the breast cancer. They got all of it out, and none of her lymph nodes were affected. This was a stage III carcinoma, the most aggressive type, but it had not spread to anywhere else on her.

How amazing is that!!!

She'll still have to have some treatment--chemo or radiation, but I think things are looking up!